wow. as soon as i really started looking at step 3, and thinking about what this means to me and feeling frustrated with this step, my HP steps in and lets me know i am not alone in this.
everywhere i turn i see that other people have struggled, and still are, with this step as well. at my meeting on tuesday night i heard a great lead, and although there was a lot with this lead i didn't really relate too, i could completely relate to the discussion of learning to find our HP and the struggle with "letting go". and in several of the comments around the room this continued to resonate. lots of people struggle with this. that gives me comfort. it really does. to know that i am not alone in this. and that it is possible to get there. to learn to let go. because others have done it. they struggled, and finally got there.
in "courage to change" for the last two days the focus has been on this as well. today's reading in particular, just what i needed! (doesn't God always work that way, if we take the time to be aware and listen?)
from "courage to change" for feburary 28.
"Turning over my will and my life to the care of a Higher Power (Third Step) is an ongoing process. At first I surrendered only the big problems. I felt I had no choice -- I was clearly powerless, and my best efforts had let me down. There was no where left to turn except to a Power greater than myself who could accomplish what I could not. As my recovery progressed, I came to trust this Higher Power.........Faith takes practice."
a few things really stick out from this. ongoing process. i like knowing that. it doesn't just "happen." it is a process. an ongoing one. just like all the other steps. and that starting with the big things is a great place to start. and that as recovery progresses, trust will come. and practice, faith, like all good things, takes practice.
i am beginning to see why i struggle with this step. i feel like i have been let down so much for so long, i am really afraid to trust. to trust in a Higher Power. to trust my loved ones. to trust myself. if i don't let go and trust, then i can't be let down. that's it. that is why i struggle with this so much. fear and trust.
wow. okay. that is a good place to start.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Practice. An ongoing process. How easy we forget! I want to take it all back and fix it! I'm struggling today with letting go of my anger and submitting to the "process". I really want there to be a "magic wand". I really want life to be like I thought it was. I can't believe I just said that! Not only have I put my faith and trust in me, I've put it in my alcoholic husband! Wow.
Your comments are encouraging to me today. I'm grateful for that.
Post a Comment